Great Quotes that seem to be on my mind an awful lot lately:

"Being separated from a love means finding out you can actually ache in places you didn't know you had inside you." (Well, a lovesick ache plus a really heavy flu on top of jetlag.)

"You and I, who still believe in Fairy Tales, have no reason to wish childhood back. We have kept its pleasures and added some grown-up ones."

"Zoos seem to no longer be in people's good graces. Religion faces the same problem. Certain illusions about freedom plague them both."

"It is a truth that those we meet can change us, sometimes so profoundly that we are not the same afterwards, even unto our names."

"What a terrible disease it must be if it can kill God in a man."


"Atheists are our brothers and sisters of a different faith, and every word they speak speaks of faith. Like us, they go as far as the legs of reason will carry them-- and then they leap."

"He bothered me, this Son. Everyday I burned with greater indignation against Him, found more flaws to him. But I couldn't get Him out of my head. I spent three solids days thinking about Him, The more He bothered me, the less I could forget Himm the less I wanted to leave Him."

"If you take two steps toward God, he runs to you."

surprise!! dinner on a boat in the Rhine river

my boyfriend is the best boyfriend in the world. he stresses me out and drives me crazy, but when it comes down to it he's my Romeo and my best friend.

Its a charmed life I'm living...

Saying goodbye in Zurich at my gate and watching Marco walk away; it never gets easier to say goodbye.
Flying for hours in a plane never gets any easier either. (One of these days, I'm gonna fly first class, or at least "buisness.")
Christmas in Switzerland was amazing, playful, freezing, exciting, sparkling, Swiss/Italian blissful christmas... everything I could have asked for (except snow) But i think i was so grateful for everything i had around me, snow might have pushed me over the "Ledge of Joy" and into a pit of "Thats it, Im never going back." hihi

Thursday is just as cold as Wednesday.

Content with the world!
Today we are going to Liestal to go shoping and then we have to go to a birthday party for the neighbor's grandma, she's 71. Theeeen for dinner me and marco are invited to his Aunt Filomena's house to hang out. She has a 3 year old boy named Elia, and he speaks Spanish. soooooo cute! also she's pregnant. On Saturday my friend barbara is coming to visit. She was in one of my classes in Spain and since i'm here she's coming....YEAH! Thennnnn we go to Bern for Christmas with some uncles and aunts and stuff. Ok gotta go.

I leave for Switzerland TOMORROW!!!

Packing and packing. Notice the sleeveless shirt that i am wearing...i suppose there's no way i could wear THAT in Switzerland, not with all the snow, 0'C, ice, etc. hihi OH SUckuh, i cant wait!!!!! Joey bought me a super cool jacket for Christmas cause apparently a hooded sweatshirt isnt warm enough. I have a layover in Amsterdam and then on to Zurich. Then i take the train from Zurich to Basel and Marco will pick me up at the train station in Basel!!!!!! I've also packed my Italian phrase book and i've downloaded some Learn german podcasts for on the plane. I'm soooooooo excited to be going back to EUROPE and especially to go see MARCO!

Responsible?!?!?

Who wants to be responsible???? Whenever anything goes wrong, the first question anyone asks is, "Who was responsible for this?"

brrrrrr

i've been cold everyday since i left Spain. (even when i am inside i need a pullover.)

The strongest sense tied to memory is the sense of smell.

On campus here in ALicante, they have this big super fountain garden. With small fountains and big fountains and squirty ones and, its really cool. Well, today they are cleaning it. and even now, i am sitting in the library (right next to the fountains) and i can still smell the chlorine. Memories are flooding back to me like the water IN the fountain.... Memories of sitting around in SPEC with Marco and Val and Catherine and Lauren (even though it wasnt my workstudy), memories of diving and smacking my face on the water over and over again just because Yukiko told me one more, one more. Memories of playing intermural softball and all the people on the team actually sweat pool water. Memories of cheering and making signs, riding on a bus to a place called cleveland, but not the cool one. Memories of sitting in the cafeteria with people i love and listening to how their practice was and thinking, "These people are machines. The do more activity before the sun comes up than i do in a whole day?!" memories memories...i keep breathing deep and smelling the air, maybe with each breath i can bring them here, my boyfriend, the people i miss so much, those times, great times. sniiiiiiffffffff ahhhhh.
( Here's a litle know fact, if you lick a swimmer and smell the wet spot, it has actually BECOME chlorine. Pure chlorine....for real.)

road trip across southern Spain.

part of a paper i had to write for a class

Ahora, tengo 20 años y todo las opciónes en al mundo. No tengo ni idea de mi futuro. ¿Dónde voy? Qué hago? Quiero comensar con mi vida y adventuras, pero estoy esperando. Ahora, estoy esperando un trabajo, una nueva universidad, a mis novio, a mi familia, a mis amigos...todo. No sé nada de nada nada. Estoy buscando una universidad que este en una ciudad diversa. Quiero una ciudad que sea grande, con transporté publico, y una que tenga muchos oportunidades; como trabajar, hablar en español, y estudiar. Quiero que mi novio tenga suerte y sea feliz. Quiero ver el cada día. Quiero que cambie el mundo, quiero aprender mucho mucho mas...pero ahora, sólo tengo 20 años.



ok, and pretty much it says: Right now i am 20 and have all the options in the world. (But its more poetic in Spanish cause they say i have 20 years and i have all the options in the world..so its in the same verb...anyway.) I have no idea about my future. Where and i going, what will i do? I want to start a life but i am just waiting. Waiting to know where i will work, a new university, on my boyfriend, my family and my friends. I dont know anything at all about anything. I am looking for a university thats in a diverse city. I want a city thats big with public transportation and many opotunidades like finding work, speaking spanish, and studying. I hope my boyfriend will have luck and be happy. I wish i could see him everyday. I want to changfe the world, i want to learn many many things more than what i know now, but right now i am only 20.
Not bragging or anything, but my professor loved it. hihi

OK, and now some little update things. 1. I have really started to like my land lady. I've been seeing alot of her lately cause we got new roomates(2 tiny little chines girls who giggle about everything and havce hello kity everything) Carmen comes to explain new stuff to them. 2. The sofa was hauled away yesterday cause the slats on the bottom were wrecked my julia's friend Tomas, but it was so funny when it happened. hahahh 3. Everything is broken or empty. All 3 of our gass bottles are empty, so for a like a week we have only had cold showers (in a week i have showered 3 times, i hate the cold.) and last night we used the last of our cooking gas, so i guess i'm having doner for supper. The internet is out in our appartment cause the bill didnt get paid. Mañana. suuuure. Lets see, ah, yes, 4. the washing machine is broken too. It will wash the clothes but not rinse them so they are just soapy when its done. Its funny though cause i am really happy. Everything is broken or whatever, but i wake up and i'm like ahhh, what can i do today. OH i have started the NEW salsa classes!!! I have moved UP a level and now we all have a partner and we are learning WAY cooler things now. PLUS, its all spañards...and they all call me Rubia. I dont know if its just cause RACHEL is hard to remember, or just cause i stick out like a sore thumb with my blonde hair and my converse tennis shoes. hahahah ANyway...everythings going good, really good actually. OH and i love my new class of Cinema. (History of Spanish Cinema) It rocks!!!! Learning so much about Spain EAND i get to watch movies! If you have actually read everything above, you should probably get back to what you were doing and stop wasting time on the internet. hahahah I'll be home soon!!!!!

Tirar/Empujar

Some days i love being the different one. Like, yesterday, i got turned around in the city and had to stop for a second to get situated and within seconds a cute little old lady stoped and asked me if i needed help. At the internet cafe, the worker guy knows i am a foreigner and he always speaks slowly so i can understand him and lets me use the padded chair. In the street, i cant go 3 blocks without someone staring at me and smiling, since i am about two heads taller than everyone else and the only blonde in a sea of brown/black. I love that none of the food has preservatives. I love that going topless is an option. I love making new stories everyday and seeing something totally wierdand new everyday. I love being asked where i am from, i love when they giggle and pat my hand if i say the wrong word and i love that every spaniard i meet has a friend, relative neighbor or cousin´s boss who is living in america, and they say they hear the weather is nice. hihi
BUT then there are days like today when i hate being different. Its an ipod day. Just put in my headphones and no one will talk to me and i can go about my buisness to the tunes of Etta James or Franks Sinatra. But its not that easy. First, I got cut in front of on the bus by two stupid girls; they both looked at me and chuckled then said something under their breath i couldnt really understand, but i understood "extranjero." (foreigner) Yes, chica, i´m a foreigner, but does that mean you can cut in front of me?! (I dont know how to say that really in spanish so i just let it go.) Then in the cafe on campus for breakfast the cashier short changed me and i started to say something but she called for the next in line and told me to move out of the way. I was too flustered to say anything. I just want to say what i want without sounding dumb. To not get the "what planet are you from look". I hate having to ask people to repeat things. I hate asking for what i need. I hate that the lady always has to help me in the library. I hate that i have to take a more fluent friend with me to the bank. Its just a day that i dont want to stick out and be obviously different. Its a day when i really want to go home.
But i am learning. I can empathize with the way blacks/asians/ hispanics must feel in a white America. I had always wondered why black people in a restaurant would smile at each other or give the head nod thing even when they dont know each other. Or why would cultures all live in a specific area, like the black neighborhood or the mexican part of town. But, its cause they feel the same things, there is comfort in it. If i see a white person in the street here, we both smile. Not on purpose, but just because, its someone like me.
At the same time, I know it is gonna suck so bad to go home to "white bread america." Everything is english, everything is familiar, Mcdonalds, oversized-wasteful-unneccesary everything, its all Made in the USA...OH and i have to go back to being a "youth".
Dont freak out on me, i like america. I like being an american, but i just know there are so many things about Spain/Europe i am going to miss. So many things about the lifestyle i have developed and adapted to that will all come to an abrupt halt.

Peluceria de Raquel StudioChurruca 28, 4'

BEfore my dear Julia left, we dyed her hair red. BRIGHT freaking fire red! We did it with dried henna powder and boiling water. It took like 3 hours to let it set on her hair and it STank like RAnk!!! BUt her hair looked really cool when it was all said and done. We even acted like it was a real hair studio and talked about the weather, and boys, boobs and junk like that. hahah OH and check out all the magazings on our table. YOu can TOTALLY tell that a bunch of girls live in our appartment. Also, the whole process was done in out bikinis. I think i am in my swim suit about 70% of the day.

I miss my Boo

No more hair!

I had this goal to go away to Spain y when i came home i would have long hair. OBVIOUSLY its not gonna happen. My hair WAS getting pretty freaking long though, i must say. But i told Charla and Marco that when i tried to do the sexy hair flip over the shoulder thing, it was NOT sexy, just wierd. LIke i was trying to smell my ear. Pues, I was on my way home from school y the sign said student discounts, so i did it. AND i love it. Its so short and now i use HALF the shampoo i normally would, which is good cause i'm gonna see if i can go the rest of the time i am here without buying shower stuff. Also, I feel like i should apologize for all these fotos; i try to not put cheesy ones. You know, like those girls who put tons of stupid pictures of ONLY themselves over and over and over again and you would think the only friend they have is their digital camera...BUT this is just to show my hair...after that, other people will be in the pictures with me, i promise. Also, the Doctor said, "Si, estas enferma." But i got medicine and i am feeling better already....as you can see, since i am at the beach. However, i still can't smell anything. Tonight i am going out with my roomates, and to picj out what to wear I will have to get Julia to smell my shirts to see if they are clean or not. (Havent done laundry in ages.) Well, tell me what you think about the hair...HONESTLY....i think maybe after i get back to America i will dye it, or something...Vamos a ver.

Sick Day

My roomand the kitchen is a MESS cause i dont feel like cleaning it. (be glad i didnt post the laundry /balcony foto.) Here's one of me doing my homework in bed and one of me being SUPER dramatic/ whine-y! Luckily, my roomie Julia is here to take care of me.

I love: H&M, public transportation, the 2 euro coin, the 1 euro coin, FANTA, Nutella, Jamon Serrano, the beach, my roomates, The Simpsons in Spanish, FNAC, my grammer teacher, walking distance of everything, the Euro fashion, habanicos, internet, supper at 11 at night, nightclubs til sunrise,rebajas, SKYPE...

I miss: Dr. Pepper, Mexican food, chicken salad, MTV, VH1, Playtex brand tampons, Movies in English, air conditioning, a dishwasher, a dryer, ice in drinks...

Right now I'm: not doing my homework, a little sunburned, just ate lunch#1 (zuchini and tomatoes with rice and FANTA), about to go to the post office, go to the beach after homework, sweating caus its freaking hot, watching argentinian cartoons...

I'm happy that: Marco got skype update on his mac, Ally is tying a yellow ribbon around some tree til i get home, i get to wear heels to class since its fashion here, the washing machine is working again, i have dreamed in Spanish everynight since last wednesday, the french guy fixed my computer, my roomates did the dishes today...

I miss more than anything: the smell of chlorine. ;)

Blue like Jazz

My beliefs are neither rational nor scientific, yet there is nothing i could do to separate mysfl from them. Love for example, is a true emotion, but it is not rational. Love has no scientific value. Also light seems pretty hard to expalin, but its there just the same. Look at penguins. Penguins travel in enormous groups, perhaps 500. And they swim through the coldest of winter til they hit ice. Like cartoons out of some Disney movie. Then all 500 of them jump out of the water one by one and start sliding on the ice on their bellies. They create little ruts as they slide and they all follow each other as they slide. They slide for like days and days or something. Anyway, then they stop sliding and get around in a big circle and start making noises. What they are doing is looking for a mate. Its crazy. Like a big penguin nightclub. They waddle around on the dance floor til they find a mate. After that, then they all have penguin sex. All 500 of them. Then the females have an egg and they lay it standing up. Then the males go over to the females and and the girl ones give the eggs to the males. And then, this is the cool part. They leave. The females travel for days to get back to the ocean and jump in to go fishing. Meanwhile, all the males are taking care of the eggs. They have a special pocket between their legs where the egg goes. They all gather around in a big group to kep each other warm. The ones on the inside move slowly to the outside and the ones on the outside rotate in. They are taking turns to all get a chance to keep warm cause out there in all that ice i bet its pretty cold. They do this for an entire month. All those males sit out there in the ice for an entire month. They dont even eat. They just watch the eggs. Then the females come back. And right when they do, almost to the day, the eggs hatch. Its like the females know when to come back, even though they have never had babies. And that is how baby penguins are made. I feel like i identify with those penguins. They have this radar inside of them that tells them when and where to go and non of it makes any sense, but they show up on the very day their babies are born and the radar always turns out to be right. i have a radar inside me that i call my beliefs. SOmehow, penguin radar works for them. SO maybe it isnt so crazy that i follow the radar i feel inside me.

What if the Hokey Pokey IS what its all about?

Today was my third day of class for September and so far so some what okay. I like my professor alot. She is super friendly and always has a snack with her in class because she is pregnant. My conversation class is kinda boring. Its mostly Russians. Right now the majority of the international students are russians and Germans. I guess they come here to get away from the cold. Anyway, i think Russian people are the calmest, and most monotoned people I have ever met ever. EVER. Anyway....I also have started dancing. I have African dance on Tuesday nights and Contemorary/Modern on Thursday nights. Also, I will soon start Salsa. The African dance class is so so cool. There are alot of hippie kinda people in there and folks with wierd piercings. SO COOL. My two roomates are taking it with me and we are the only NOT spainards. But all the other girls are really friendly. It feels so good to be in an atmosphere I really know. Its a studio with mirrors and a dance bar and everyone has on dance clothes and i know what to do. I think I felt more "at home" in the dance classroom than i have anywhere else in Spain. Well, also, tonight is Joeys last night. We have gone EVERYWHERE and seen so many things, even things I had never seen before. It has been so fun for him to have been here. I hope I dont cry tomorrow when he leaves. Oh, Joey bought 3 pairs of shoes already. HAHAHA TOnight we are gonna have Paella...pie a uh...whatever, a typical spanish meal for Joey's going away. awwwww. I think that is about everything. no, no wait, i also saw the coolest most awesome and amazing thing ever today that would be the BEST christmas gift for Marco. Even better than the skate board I got him last year. ohhhhhhh SUCKUH SUCKUH!!!!

Decathalon

The coolest sporting goods store in the WORLD!!!

for Marco.

Benidorm