The strongest sense tied to memory is the sense of smell.

On campus here in ALicante, they have this big super fountain garden. With small fountains and big fountains and squirty ones and, its really cool. Well, today they are cleaning it. and even now, i am sitting in the library (right next to the fountains) and i can still smell the chlorine. Memories are flooding back to me like the water IN the fountain.... Memories of sitting around in SPEC with Marco and Val and Catherine and Lauren (even though it wasnt my workstudy), memories of diving and smacking my face on the water over and over again just because Yukiko told me one more, one more. Memories of playing intermural softball and all the people on the team actually sweat pool water. Memories of cheering and making signs, riding on a bus to a place called cleveland, but not the cool one. Memories of sitting in the cafeteria with people i love and listening to how their practice was and thinking, "These people are machines. The do more activity before the sun comes up than i do in a whole day?!" memories memories...i keep breathing deep and smelling the air, maybe with each breath i can bring them here, my boyfriend, the people i miss so much, those times, great times. sniiiiiiffffffff ahhhhh.
( Here's a litle know fact, if you lick a swimmer and smell the wet spot, it has actually BECOME chlorine. Pure chlorine....for real.)

road trip across southern Spain.

part of a paper i had to write for a class

Ahora, tengo 20 años y todo las opciónes en al mundo. No tengo ni idea de mi futuro. ¿Dónde voy? Qué hago? Quiero comensar con mi vida y adventuras, pero estoy esperando. Ahora, estoy esperando un trabajo, una nueva universidad, a mis novio, a mi familia, a mis amigos...todo. No sé nada de nada nada. Estoy buscando una universidad que este en una ciudad diversa. Quiero una ciudad que sea grande, con transporté publico, y una que tenga muchos oportunidades; como trabajar, hablar en español, y estudiar. Quiero que mi novio tenga suerte y sea feliz. Quiero ver el cada día. Quiero que cambie el mundo, quiero aprender mucho mucho mas...pero ahora, sólo tengo 20 años.



ok, and pretty much it says: Right now i am 20 and have all the options in the world. (But its more poetic in Spanish cause they say i have 20 years and i have all the options in the world..so its in the same verb...anyway.) I have no idea about my future. Where and i going, what will i do? I want to start a life but i am just waiting. Waiting to know where i will work, a new university, on my boyfriend, my family and my friends. I dont know anything at all about anything. I am looking for a university thats in a diverse city. I want a city thats big with public transportation and many opotunidades like finding work, speaking spanish, and studying. I hope my boyfriend will have luck and be happy. I wish i could see him everyday. I want to changfe the world, i want to learn many many things more than what i know now, but right now i am only 20.
Not bragging or anything, but my professor loved it. hihi

OK, and now some little update things. 1. I have really started to like my land lady. I've been seeing alot of her lately cause we got new roomates(2 tiny little chines girls who giggle about everything and havce hello kity everything) Carmen comes to explain new stuff to them. 2. The sofa was hauled away yesterday cause the slats on the bottom were wrecked my julia's friend Tomas, but it was so funny when it happened. hahahh 3. Everything is broken or empty. All 3 of our gass bottles are empty, so for a like a week we have only had cold showers (in a week i have showered 3 times, i hate the cold.) and last night we used the last of our cooking gas, so i guess i'm having doner for supper. The internet is out in our appartment cause the bill didnt get paid. Mañana. suuuure. Lets see, ah, yes, 4. the washing machine is broken too. It will wash the clothes but not rinse them so they are just soapy when its done. Its funny though cause i am really happy. Everything is broken or whatever, but i wake up and i'm like ahhh, what can i do today. OH i have started the NEW salsa classes!!! I have moved UP a level and now we all have a partner and we are learning WAY cooler things now. PLUS, its all spañards...and they all call me Rubia. I dont know if its just cause RACHEL is hard to remember, or just cause i stick out like a sore thumb with my blonde hair and my converse tennis shoes. hahahah ANyway...everythings going good, really good actually. OH and i love my new class of Cinema. (History of Spanish Cinema) It rocks!!!! Learning so much about Spain EAND i get to watch movies! If you have actually read everything above, you should probably get back to what you were doing and stop wasting time on the internet. hahahah I'll be home soon!!!!!

Tirar/Empujar

Some days i love being the different one. Like, yesterday, i got turned around in the city and had to stop for a second to get situated and within seconds a cute little old lady stoped and asked me if i needed help. At the internet cafe, the worker guy knows i am a foreigner and he always speaks slowly so i can understand him and lets me use the padded chair. In the street, i cant go 3 blocks without someone staring at me and smiling, since i am about two heads taller than everyone else and the only blonde in a sea of brown/black. I love that none of the food has preservatives. I love that going topless is an option. I love making new stories everyday and seeing something totally wierdand new everyday. I love being asked where i am from, i love when they giggle and pat my hand if i say the wrong word and i love that every spaniard i meet has a friend, relative neighbor or cousin´s boss who is living in america, and they say they hear the weather is nice. hihi
BUT then there are days like today when i hate being different. Its an ipod day. Just put in my headphones and no one will talk to me and i can go about my buisness to the tunes of Etta James or Franks Sinatra. But its not that easy. First, I got cut in front of on the bus by two stupid girls; they both looked at me and chuckled then said something under their breath i couldnt really understand, but i understood "extranjero." (foreigner) Yes, chica, i´m a foreigner, but does that mean you can cut in front of me?! (I dont know how to say that really in spanish so i just let it go.) Then in the cafe on campus for breakfast the cashier short changed me and i started to say something but she called for the next in line and told me to move out of the way. I was too flustered to say anything. I just want to say what i want without sounding dumb. To not get the "what planet are you from look". I hate having to ask people to repeat things. I hate asking for what i need. I hate that the lady always has to help me in the library. I hate that i have to take a more fluent friend with me to the bank. Its just a day that i dont want to stick out and be obviously different. Its a day when i really want to go home.
But i am learning. I can empathize with the way blacks/asians/ hispanics must feel in a white America. I had always wondered why black people in a restaurant would smile at each other or give the head nod thing even when they dont know each other. Or why would cultures all live in a specific area, like the black neighborhood or the mexican part of town. But, its cause they feel the same things, there is comfort in it. If i see a white person in the street here, we both smile. Not on purpose, but just because, its someone like me.
At the same time, I know it is gonna suck so bad to go home to "white bread america." Everything is english, everything is familiar, Mcdonalds, oversized-wasteful-unneccesary everything, its all Made in the USA...OH and i have to go back to being a "youth".
Dont freak out on me, i like america. I like being an american, but i just know there are so many things about Spain/Europe i am going to miss. So many things about the lifestyle i have developed and adapted to that will all come to an abrupt halt.