for Marco.

Benidorm

Today I went to the studio where they give Salsa lessons and other types of dancing, and because it is a city funded program and i am a student, then any class i want to take is free. FREE!!!! When i was in Switzerland, we went to a Jazz festival in Basel and I was thinking how much I missed dance class, and now I can do it here iñ Spain for free. ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME??? I am really looking forward to it.
This has been a rough week, but little things are getting me to the next minute, hour, and day. Like skype, chinese food, the idea of joey coming, unexpected messages...lots of things. Already I am able to look at how much I have done here in Europe and I am proud of myself. For ME. Things i have done for myself, memories that i may not ever share with anyone, but i have them and they make me smile. I am also finding I miss Guiseppe and our talks at the beach. I may never see him again, but such is life. I will never forget him, or the way he stank so bad or things he told me that have changed my view of the world. he is out there somewhere in the world riding his bike and changing people. Maybe I am here in Spain to begin a legacy of my own. Maybe I have already begun and this is just another part of it. Maybe i will wake up tomorrow and I will be in America and this has all been a dream. Que sera, sera.
I think how much i have done and I cant wait to share my experiances with the people I love because, i live to share my life. Maybe thats why i havent been doing so good lately, because I have been so alone, but i am coming to a point where i know it will look brighter, i just have to get out of bed.
This afternoon i found myself in a back street where i may or may not have run from the Spanish police at one time. I walked beside the Meditreanean sea, i looked at a castle from my appartment window, and I helped some german guy find the street he was looking for. Mañana, todo va a cambiar. Pero, que sera, sera. Viva la vida.

Through many trials, toils, and snares
I have already come.
Tis Grace that brought me saf thus far,
and Grace will lead me home.

un otro ves

Here I am back in Spain, and I am finding it a bit hard. I keep looking at these four months and think all sorts of scary thoughts, but then I tell myself one day at a time, Rachel, I can do this, one day at a time.
Some mornings I wake up and I want to cry and I dont even know why. I dont want to eat, i dont want to move I just want to sleep and cry. But other days I get out of bed and think, WOW, im in freaking SPAIN and i know how to speak spanish already. I know my way around this huge city, and I know how to use the public transportation. I can understand Celsius, and meters and kilos, and the Mediteranean Sea is about a 15 minute walk from where I am.
Today was a middle day. I though about how much longer I am here, how much longer until I get to see Marco, how much longer until I can hug Rachel Crihfield, how much longer til Joey comes, how much more waiting for the bus can I handle.
But i think to myself, "I am proving I am strong. I am learning a new way of life. I have been here since June 29. I can do this. I want to make my parents proud, I want to talk in Spanish with Natalia and Estefani when I get back, I want to go back to Switzerland at Christmas and see the snow, I want Marco to tell people at Utah his girlfriend is living in SPain."
Also, Joey come on the 1st of September he leaves on the 6th I think. That means I have only 24 September days to go. October and November are only two months. Two little months. In two months I will only have my period twice, I will only eat 61 suppers, the moon will only be full two more times and then I leave for Switzerland on the 23 of December. Whew....okay, maybe I can make it, maybe I can do this.
Just breathe. Just keep breathing.....one more day, one more, one more............................breathe...........................................

mmmmmmmm

Update

I am back in Switzerland. Our trip to go to France to stay with Val has been cancelled. Marco's grandmother is very ill and getting worse. Since he leaves for Utah on Saturday, staying here with his family seemed to be the better decision. Luckily, the insurance covered the cost for the tickets. Italy was really cool. Weswam, we ate, we played poker. I'll post pictures soon, or just make a link. We went by train and came back in car. Going through the Alps was absolutely amazing. So many little villages up the sides of the mountains and fields of dairy cows just waiting to be milked and choc-lified. Today is Lazy Day for me by decree of Marco. I hate to admit it but i am a little sick. Kinda Flu-y. Good thing Marco's mom is a nurse, so I am in good hands. Marco made me some beef broth, awwww. And I am drinking lots of liquids. hihi Anyway, we are hanging out here in good ol' Basel and taking it easy. Marcos getting all his stuff together for Utah and I am semi-packing to go back to Alicante. Keep Grandma Ferraro in your prayers and the rest of the family, too. It is a stressful time for all of them. Ah yes, I am sure my dear sweet mother has been having a kaniption fit with all this buisness in London. DONT WORRY. Sure there are people here who dont like America, but it doesnt mean they want to seek out the nearest american and deport them. BUT I am pretty sure that EVERYONE in all of Europe hates George Bush. When I say i am from Texas, they always say, oh isnt that where Mr. Bush is from? and then they make a face like they smell brocolii cooking. I just smile and shrug my shoulders and everything is ok. That is pretty much my method of getting around in places where i have no idea what to do, or if i dont speak the language. Just smile and shrug. It works in Spain, Italy, Switzerland, stores, train stations...pretty much everywhere. OH! This is really cool. JOEY is coming to Spain!!! He will come for about a week. I AM SO EXCITED! Before I left Alicante i was getting a little homesick, and now when I get back, Joey is gonna be there. SO COOL! (Hold your thumbs and cross your fingers that Charla will be hiding in his suitcase when he gets here. O Charla, please come with him!!!) Lets see, i think that is all the cool things for now. Here I'll give some little details like what mom asks for when i talk to her on the phone. I shaved my legs today. It rained yesterday. The sofa is blue with orange pillows. I ironed clothes this morning. The male nurse at the hospital has "chops" sideburns. We eat dandilions cooked like spinach at lunch alot. Marco's little cousin who is cute cute CUTE like me and says my name. There are fruit trees everywhere. Ok, gotta go. Tschüss!!

recent pictures

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italy

i am in italy!!! i love it. the weather is great except today it is raining. i went to church with marcos mom and dad and we have gone snorkling, jumped off a clif thingy into the sea, went to a festival, i learned to play poker, rode a train through the alps and many more amazing things. i, ll post again soon.

computer not working, only can upload 2 pictures