Here I am back in Spain, and I am finding it a bit hard. I keep looking at these four months and think all sorts of scary thoughts, but then I tell myself one day at a time, Rachel, I can do this, one day at a time.
Some mornings I wake up and I want to cry and I dont even know why. I dont want to eat, i dont want to move I just want to sleep and cry. But other days I get out of bed and think, WOW, im in freaking SPAIN and i know how to speak spanish already. I know my way around this huge city, and I know how to use the public transportation. I can understand Celsius, and meters and kilos, and the Mediteranean Sea is about a 15 minute walk from where I am.
Today was a middle day. I though about how much longer I am here, how much longer until I get to see Marco, how much longer until I can hug Rachel Crihfield, how much longer til Joey comes, how much more waiting for the bus can I handle.
But i think to myself, "I am proving I am strong. I am learning a new way of life. I have been here since June 29. I can do this. I want to make my parents proud, I want to talk in Spanish with Natalia and Estefani when I get back, I want to go back to Switzerland at Christmas and see the snow, I want Marco to tell people at Utah his girlfriend is living in SPain."
Also, Joey come on the 1st of September he leaves on the 6th I think. That means I have only 24 September days to go. October and November are only two months. Two little months. In two months I will only have my period twice, I will only eat 61 suppers, the moon will only be full two more times and then I leave for Switzerland on the 23 of December. Whew....okay, maybe I can make it, maybe I can do this.
Just breathe. Just keep breathing.....one more day, one more, one more............................breathe...........................................
3 comments:
you are strong, love...i am SO proud of you. but do this for yourself too...not just for everyone back home. get to the end and think: holy cow, it was hard at times, but i made it!
love you.
i think of you. i feel you because i know how it feels whe you are so far from home plus dont have anyboday like ondra in spain. tomas ondra and i are sending greatings and wish you as much experiences as you can carry.
jakub
Youll be fine! Just think of how excited you were when you were here and wanted to be in Spain. And I'll be there in a week!
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